"No petites please"

Millionare taking wife applications!!

Gold-diggerory has reached an all-time high. It use to be that the woman had to cleverly seduce an established and extremely financially secure gentleman enough to get him to add her name to some paperwork but now, the millionare moguls are wishing this upon themselves.

The only catch was that the women needed to be 5'6 and over.
Hmm. I'm still in the running. . .

"Paid for lack of perfomance"

Man sues neighbor for failing to get his wife pregnant!

Oh, how I love a good scandal.

At first, I thought this story was just unfortunate because this sterile guy paid another unaware sterile guy to impregnate his wife and allowed them to repeatedly hook up for months - but then it just got better and better. This is the stuff good neighborhood drama is made of, I tell ya.

A GERMAN man is sueing his neighbor after he failed to get his wife pregnant.

Demetrius Soupolos, 29, from Stuttgart, Germany, paid his neighbour to have sex with his wife so that she would fall pregnant.

But after several months and no pregnancy the neighbor went for a test and was also found to be sterile.

Now Demetrius is sueing to get a refund." [Source]

However, what they didn't mention (which I discovered through very clever further investigation because this just wasn't making sense) was that the neighbor who was paid to repeatedly sleep with Demetrius' wife for about six months found out he was sterile after Demetrius demanded he see a doctor. Of course this didn't make sense said neighbor was married with children. . .

. . .How'd that happen? Well, his two children weren't his and his wife was force to confess to it after he started questioning how he could possibly shoot blanks but still have two kids running around. Tsk, tsk.

All this drama because he needed $2,500. If everyone would have just kept minding their own business this would have never happened.

"I scream, you scream"

Woman fined for EXTREMELY loud sex!

Overdoing it, for real.

I don't know that there's any kind of sex out there that will have you screaming out in other languages, tongues, and dialects and willing to pay close to $1,000 just to do so. Just for screaming though? Come on now.

SUNDERLAND , England, April 18 (UPI) — A 47-year-old Englishwoman has been convicted of flouting a city order to keep her love-making sessions quiet, officials said.

The Daily Telegraph reported Saturday that Caroline Cartwright, 47, was found guilty of breaching a noise abatement notice served on her after police received 25 complaints about her loud sessions with husband Steve.

She was fined more than $760, The Sun reported.

“I am not making the noise on purpose,” she told magistrates in Sunderland. “I have no desire to hurt anybody or damage any property.”

One neighbor reportedly said she had not gotten a decent night’s sleep for two years because of the Cartwrights. Another neighbor said she was forced to move out because of the noise, the Telegraph reported." [Source]

Disrespectful neighbors. I mean, it's fine if you wanna get yours in the comfort of your own home but when it's seriously interfering with numerous people's sleep patterns perhaps it's time to tone it down. I'm not hating, I'm just saying.

& don't worry, the lady insists it was worth the money.

"What a nice surprise"

Mich. man helps deliver wife's surprise baby !!

So, I don't believe it.

A western Michigan man helped deliver his wife's baby boy despite not knowing she was pregnant. The Grand Rapids Press reported the man called 911 early Thursday as his wife was in labor. The man told the dispatcher that he had not known his 27-year-old wife was pregnant. He said they recently quit smoking and thought her recent weight gain was related.

The couple has two children, and the mother has an additional child from a previous relationship.

Following the successful delivery, the dispatcher talked the man through post-birth procedures. The child was taken to a local hospital." [Source]

So you thought the major weight gain was because she quit smoking? I mean, I guess. I know there are different reasons to not realize you're pregnant for a while but not finding out until the kids' already halfway out? That's just downright negligent on her part.



It could happen to anyone, right? Props to him for delivering the baby boy instead of just remaining in a state of shock about the pregnancy like I probably would have.

"Sure you can have my husband's face"

Wife of Boston Face Transplant Donor Says Husband Appreciated 'Value of Life'

BROOKLINE, Mass. — The wife of a Massachusetts man whose tissue was donated for the nation's second face transplant said her husband told her before heart transplant surgery that he wanted to donate his organs if he didn't survive the operation.

Susan Whitman told The Boston Globe for a story in Wednesday's editions that she was surprised, however, when organ bank officials asked if she would approve of the donation of Joseph Helfgot's face.

"It's easy to sign up and say you are an organ donor," Whitman said. "It's another to have your family understand and facilitate that. It's painful and it takes strength and a will to do it." [Source- Fox]

That is some kind of wonderful =]

I thought this was interesting because my initial, uninformed thought was that some other man would literally be walking around wearing her husband's face. . .and well, that just didn't sit too well with me. But common sense should have told me that bone structure plays a major role in facial re-construction and so while he'll have his lips, nose, facial skin, muscles, etc, he won't look anything like him.

& when you think of being an organ donor you're thinking of giving up a kidney or lung or some other vital organ, right? Think again.

"Gun control gone wrong"

Soldier Shot, Killed While Teaching Wife Gun Safety

OLYMPIA — A Fort Lewis soldier is dead after being accidentally shot in the head and killed by his wife in Olympiam the Thurston County Sheriff's Office says." [Source- Seattle Times]

This woman "claims" her husband, a Fort Lewis soldier who probably has a somewhat extensive background in gun usage, was accidentally shot while trying to teach her how to correctly use a gun. Apparently he decided to teach her how to shoot around 1:30 in the morning and she was holding it when she unintentionally shot him right between the eyes.

Um. What?

I've heard of some freak, ironic accidents and I'm a big fan of the series Dead Like Me because of its malicious humor but come on now. Who is she trying to fool here? As of right now authorities have not named her as a suspect but with the investigation pending I'm sure it's only a matter of time.

Then again, everyone's innocent until proven guilty - so what do I know?

I'm just sayin'. . .

"Backlash for spreading seeds"

Man jailed for dodging child support for 14 kids

Authorities in Michigan say a man fathered 14 children with 13 different women and owes more than $530,000 in unpaid child support.

The Flint Journal reports 42-year-old Thomas Frazier was jailed Thursday. Court records say he hasn't made a support payment in six years.

The newspaper says the unemployed man could be held for 90 days if he doesn't pay $27,900.
Frazier says he thinks he fathered only three of the children and that it's unrealistic for authorities to expect him to pay child support that was $3,000 a month at one point." [Source- AP News]

Ugh.

I have no words. Just take him off to jail. You have 13 women claiming you're the father of their 14 children and you're not a celebrity or anything? It's not like you're loaded. . .you know you're the baby daddy. At this point (now that six years have passed) I think these women are secure with the fact that money from this man is just not an option, and his punishment should be jail time.

And a MAJOR deduction from any check he earns from now until the cows come home.

"If you blinked, you missed it."

Is love at first sight real?

Everyone has their own thoughts about that and I for one think that lust at first sight is the only think you can count on. Pure, unadulterated physical attraction -- you can get that from looking at someone one time, but not love. Ideally it would be lovely, but not in this world.


Love's such a strong emotion - like hate. Do you hate at first sight? Of course not. You might be turned off by someone initially, but you wouldn't conclude that you hated them until much later. After an experience, a bad memory - something. But that's just what I think. Some geneticists (because I love having scientific back up) have looked into the idea of "love at first sight". . .

According to a study published in the April 2009 issue of the journal Genetics, a team of scientists from the United States and Australia discovered that at the genetic level, some males and females are more compatible than others, and that this compatibility plays an important role in mate selection, mating outcomes, and future reproductive behaviors. " [Source]

The article concluded (after examining the behaviors of fruit flies toward their mating partners) that the female flies in particular cared about the character of their counterpart. In other words, they were attracted to them at first sight and strong feelings were involved that quickly. Hmm. . .it would be the females who would screw up my hypothesis. Read more here.

"Catch a falling lover"

Man dies trying to catch suicidal girlfriend as she jumps from 7th floor

I understand the intent, I do, but come on, Wang. . .

A Chinese man was killed last week after trying to catch his suicidal girlfriend as she jumped from the seventh floor of their Quanzhou apartment building in south-eastern China.

The young man, only identified as Wang, tried to break the woman’s fall by holding out his arms, witnesses said. He was killed by the impact of her body landing on top of him, according to Perth Now.

His girlfriend survived the fall, suffering only from bone fractures and other injuries. She was not in critical condition and expected to make a full recovery." [Source]

I know it happened in China, but I could definitely see someone exercising this type of nonsensical behavior here in the US. I always side with the victim, so I'm furious at the fact that the suicidal girlfriend is expected to make a full recovery while Wang is six-feet-under for being her human fall breaker. Ain't that about a b*tch?

I'm sure now more than ever that she's ready to make a second attempt at that jump.

What would you do if you saw someone you loved hurdling towards the sidewalk? I'll be honest -- I'd probably have a panic attack and start crying on the spot. Even with a hysterical flowing of tears I'd still know I can't catch them and live. Not even a little bit.

"I love you, but. . ."

Boyfriend freaks out on his girl -- pours chili on her head!!

STUART — A man accused of pouring chili on his girlfriend and ripping off her bra following an argument involving television watching is facing charges, according to a Martin County Sheriff’s Office report released Friday.

The 26-year-old victim told investigators her boyfriend, with whom she has two children and is nine weeks pregnant, came home Thursday evening and wanted to watch TV in their bedroom.

Boyfriend Edd M. Johnson, 21, is accused of kicking the TV and breaking it after she asked that he watch TV in the other room of the residence in the 2900 block of Southeast Delmar Street.

The victim went to slice the power cord of the other TV with scissors when police said Johnson grabbed her neck and pulled her away.

The victim called her sister, who called the sheriff’s office. She grabbed her kids and got in her vehicle when Johnson came out with a can of chili."

This is an OHNawllian story, as you can expect. Just wanted to notify you all to watch out for the above man [who looks way closer to 40 than 21. They might need to check that], and keep your distance. Throwing chili on people all willy nilly over television. . .shame, shame.

& then, in true Chris Brownian fashion, he had the nerve to tell police he should have "whooped her a**." Because that's exactly what they wanted to hear. *rolls eyes*

"Naked for nuggets"

Pimp team pay prostitute with nuggets!!

Ronald Vikash Gander, 27, and his 16-year-old girlfriend devised a plan to prostitute a teenage girl so they could afford the weekly $1,050 rent on a serviced inner-Brisbane apartment, the Brisbane District Court was told.

The court was told the girl made $4,500 for having sex with five middle-aged men in June last year.Gander and his girlfriend used the money for living expenses and paid the girl nothing except for the occasional box of chicken nuggets.

The court was told Gander's girlfriend - who cannot be named - threatened the student, who had run away from home, with eviction if she didn't continue having sex with clients to earn her keep." [Source]

So this needs to stop.

I don't hate the player - I hate the game, so I'm not mad at the pimp for paying her with nuggets but rather her for accepting. The whole thing is ludicrous. This man who is damn near 30 teamed up with his underaged girlfriend to pimp her underage classmate and didn't even have the decency to pay her with actual cash. Not that anything I ever post on here is decent, but still. . .

. . .you see my point.