"I scream, you scream"

Woman fined for EXTREMELY loud sex!

Overdoing it, for real.

I don't know that there's any kind of sex out there that will have you screaming out in other languages, tongues, and dialects and willing to pay close to $1,000 just to do so. Just for screaming though? Come on now.

SUNDERLAND , England, April 18 (UPI) — A 47-year-old Englishwoman has been convicted of flouting a city order to keep her love-making sessions quiet, officials said.

The Daily Telegraph reported Saturday that Caroline Cartwright, 47, was found guilty of breaching a noise abatement notice served on her after police received 25 complaints about her loud sessions with husband Steve.

She was fined more than $760, The Sun reported.

“I am not making the noise on purpose,” she told magistrates in Sunderland. “I have no desire to hurt anybody or damage any property.”

One neighbor reportedly said she had not gotten a decent night’s sleep for two years because of the Cartwrights. Another neighbor said she was forced to move out because of the noise, the Telegraph reported." [Source]

Disrespectful neighbors. I mean, it's fine if you wanna get yours in the comfort of your own home but when it's seriously interfering with numerous people's sleep patterns perhaps it's time to tone it down. I'm not hating, I'm just saying.

& don't worry, the lady insists it was worth the money.

"Gun control gone wrong"

Soldier Shot, Killed While Teaching Wife Gun Safety

OLYMPIA — A Fort Lewis soldier is dead after being accidentally shot in the head and killed by his wife in Olympiam the Thurston County Sheriff's Office says." [Source- Seattle Times]

This woman "claims" her husband, a Fort Lewis soldier who probably has a somewhat extensive background in gun usage, was accidentally shot while trying to teach her how to correctly use a gun. Apparently he decided to teach her how to shoot around 1:30 in the morning and she was holding it when she unintentionally shot him right between the eyes.

Um. What?

I've heard of some freak, ironic accidents and I'm a big fan of the series Dead Like Me because of its malicious humor but come on now. Who is she trying to fool here? As of right now authorities have not named her as a suspect but with the investigation pending I'm sure it's only a matter of time.

Then again, everyone's innocent until proven guilty - so what do I know?

I'm just sayin'. . .

"Backlash for spreading seeds"

Man jailed for dodging child support for 14 kids

Authorities in Michigan say a man fathered 14 children with 13 different women and owes more than $530,000 in unpaid child support.

The Flint Journal reports 42-year-old Thomas Frazier was jailed Thursday. Court records say he hasn't made a support payment in six years.

The newspaper says the unemployed man could be held for 90 days if he doesn't pay $27,900.
Frazier says he thinks he fathered only three of the children and that it's unrealistic for authorities to expect him to pay child support that was $3,000 a month at one point." [Source- AP News]

Ugh.

I have no words. Just take him off to jail. You have 13 women claiming you're the father of their 14 children and you're not a celebrity or anything? It's not like you're loaded. . .you know you're the baby daddy. At this point (now that six years have passed) I think these women are secure with the fact that money from this man is just not an option, and his punishment should be jail time.

And a MAJOR deduction from any check he earns from now until the cows come home.

"I love you, but. . ."

Boyfriend freaks out on his girl -- pours chili on her head!!

STUART — A man accused of pouring chili on his girlfriend and ripping off her bra following an argument involving television watching is facing charges, according to a Martin County Sheriff’s Office report released Friday.

The 26-year-old victim told investigators her boyfriend, with whom she has two children and is nine weeks pregnant, came home Thursday evening and wanted to watch TV in their bedroom.

Boyfriend Edd M. Johnson, 21, is accused of kicking the TV and breaking it after she asked that he watch TV in the other room of the residence in the 2900 block of Southeast Delmar Street.

The victim went to slice the power cord of the other TV with scissors when police said Johnson grabbed her neck and pulled her away.

The victim called her sister, who called the sheriff’s office. She grabbed her kids and got in her vehicle when Johnson came out with a can of chili."

This is an OHNawllian story, as you can expect. Just wanted to notify you all to watch out for the above man [who looks way closer to 40 than 21. They might need to check that], and keep your distance. Throwing chili on people all willy nilly over television. . .shame, shame.

& then, in true Chris Brownian fashion, he had the nerve to tell police he should have "whooped her a**." Because that's exactly what they wanted to hear. *rolls eyes*

"Naked for nuggets"

Pimp team pay prostitute with nuggets!!

Ronald Vikash Gander, 27, and his 16-year-old girlfriend devised a plan to prostitute a teenage girl so they could afford the weekly $1,050 rent on a serviced inner-Brisbane apartment, the Brisbane District Court was told.

The court was told the girl made $4,500 for having sex with five middle-aged men in June last year.Gander and his girlfriend used the money for living expenses and paid the girl nothing except for the occasional box of chicken nuggets.

The court was told Gander's girlfriend - who cannot be named - threatened the student, who had run away from home, with eviction if she didn't continue having sex with clients to earn her keep." [Source]

So this needs to stop.

I don't hate the player - I hate the game, so I'm not mad at the pimp for paying her with nuggets but rather her for accepting. The whole thing is ludicrous. This man who is damn near 30 teamed up with his underaged girlfriend to pimp her underage classmate and didn't even have the decency to pay her with actual cash. Not that anything I ever post on here is decent, but still. . .

. . .you see my point.

"Handcuffs & more love biting"

Wife handcuffs herself to husband (& allegedly bit him)!!

FAIRFIELD, Conn. - Police in Connecticut say a woman attempting to reconcile with her husband handcuffed herself to him as he slept and then bit him on his torso and arms.

Police say 37-year-old Helen Sun told them she wanted to have a conversation with husband Robert Drawbough without him leaving. Police say she changed the locks on their bedroom and handcuffed herself to Drawbough while he was sleeping Monday.

Drawbough used a cell phone to call police. Officers heard his screams when they arrived at the couple's Fairfield home. He was treated at a local hospital." [Source- MSNBC]

Reconciling is highly unlikely after you've tried to bite off a chunk of my skin, but maybe that's just me. This might have just been a little playful matter between lovers that her punk of a husband wasn't prepared for. However, them hearing his "screams" must have meant she was seriously going in on her bondage exploit.

They slapped her with a bunch of charges (third-degree assault, disorderly conduct, reckless endangerment, unlawful restraint). Next time she tries to reconcile with him she should consider something a little more, well, legal.

"The consequence of love biting"

Man strangles woman over a hickey -- yes, a HICKEY.

But don't fret, she's still alive.

Police responded to complaints about a disturbance at a Sheboygan apartment around 8:30 p.m. Friday and found the victim with dried blood on her lip and scratches around her neck.

She told police Jerome M. Lucious Jr. of Sheboygan strangled her with both hands and threatened to kill her after she questioned him about a hickey on his neck and slapped him.

Lucious admitted that he threw the victim against the wall Friday and put his hands around her throat after she slapped him, according to The Sheboygan Press. "

Now before I read the story I thought that this fool attacked her for leaving a hickey on him -- I was thinking she was the other woman and he didn't want his main one to find out. Then I read on and see that the reasoning behind his madness is much, much lamer. All she did was ask about the miniature neck bruise and homie went apeshit. It saddens me.

There goes another 21-year-old who had a world of opportunity waiting for him. . .

*cough* okay, maybe not. He was actually a repeat offender and is now facing seven years in prison and three years on probation. Tsk, tsk. If I'm getting strangled for asking about a hickey then I'm sorry, I guess we're both dying that night because there's no way. . .& the truly disturbing part of this is that there's a good chance the victim will go back to him.

"When keeping it real goes wrong."

Extreme kinkyness leads to internal bleeding!!

Oh boy.

*crosses legs. TIGHTLY*

This one is sufficiently worst than the d-ck kabob story and hurt my heart a little bit because I made the mistake of mentally picturing the hilarity. Just a heads up - this happened to a real person, in a real place, and it's really sad that such idiotic people walk the earth. Perhaps there were drugs involved? Idk, man. . .

LEXINGTON PARK, Md. (WUSA) - A Southern Maryland woman was seriously injured in a mishap involving a sex toy over the weekend. The case was first reported on TheBayNet.com, and Saint Mary’s county public safety sources confirmed the information to 9NEWS NOW.

The accident was reported to local fire and rescue personnel about 1:30 a.m. on March 7, from an address on Rogers Drive. The man who made the 911 call said he had placed a sex toy over a saber saw blade, and then used the power tool on his partner, but the blade cut through the plastic and injured the woman.

The victim, a 27-year-old woman, was reportedly injured and bleeding. She was later flown to Prince George’s hospital center by Maryland State Police helicopter." [Source of all sources- OHN]

This is what happens when something that seems like ingenuity is actually just a really eff'd up idea of fun. I'm begging you all to take lessons from these sob stories and please try to cut down on the stupid. If it seems like a bad idea, it probably is.

"Abused and Misused"

Man beats his cousin in the head with a VCR because she refused sex!!

But with a VCR though?

DAYTON - A 51-year-old woman’s condition has been upgraded to stable after she beaten in the head with a VCR by a cousin Saturday, Feb. 28, days after the suspect was released from prison.

Police said the woman was beaten by Percy S. Cochran, 28 and a convicted felon, at about 2 a.m. on Saturday before Cochran broke into the homes of two other relatives.

Investigators said Cochran intended to have sex with his cousin, but when she refused, he choked her and then beat her with the VCR. The woman, whose name has not been released, suffered severe brain injuries but was talking, according to police." [Source- OHN]

That Cochran character has officially earned himself a one-way-ticket to ruthless jail treatment city. If that's a place, that is. Beating aged women with dead technology, breaking into homes, attempting forced incest, repeat offending. You must not like your life.

"Diamond is my favorite flavor"

Woman swallows engangement ring when boyfriend hides it in a MILKSHAKE --- Ouch!!

I don't think that was a wise decision at ALL on his part.

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Why not hide it in a cupcake or something? Everyone loves cupcakes. I probably would have done the same thing and just downed the milkshake. Ring and allllll.

"Lovers may come and go but Herpes is forever"

Woman Unknowingly Infected With Herpes Awarded Nearly $7 Million!

PALM SPRINGS, Calif. — A lawyer said a Riverside County jury has awarded nearly $7 million to a 56-year-old woman who was unknowingly infected with herpes by a 77-year-old man.

Attorney Shaun Murphy, who represented the plaintiff, said the defendant knew he had genital herpes for more than 25 years but did not disclose it before his sexual relationship with the woman and did not use a condom." [Source - Fox News]

Absurdity.

I had no idea that you could sue someone for leaving out the fact that they have an incurable disease and get seven million for it. But honestly, that's the least she could have gotten out of the deal. Even at 56-years-old you should be able to play with other elders and not have to worry that after 77 years guys still haven't matured enough to tell you if they have an STD. I'm just sayin'.

Oh well, she's 7 million bucks richer. Cha-ching. All's well that ends well I guess.

"Grindin'"

Not another injured penis!!

A man whose penis met an ill fate with a grinder in Brisbane's north this afternoon has been rushed to hospital.

It is understood the 23-year-old was working in Northgate when he was injured just after 2pm."

[Source - Brisbane Times]

There's nothing like a good old fashion castration to start the week off right. It's a shame because he was only 23-years-old. I'm hoping he got good use out of it for the first 23 years.

Since they didn't want to identify what kind of "grinder" it was that injured him, you'll just have to use your imagination with the picture I've provided. I'm just curious as to why his member was even in a position to be injured. . .aren't you?

*scratches head*

"V-Day misunderstanding"

Valentine lover recreates rose petal scene from American Beauty.






Lesley Heague booked a hotel's penthouse suite and covered the bed in red rose petals to act out the provocative sequence from the 1999 blockbuster.

The blonde 25-year-old even hired a photographer to capture her version of the scene, made famous by actress Mena Suvari, for a personalised card.

[Source]

This would have been a really sweet gesture. . imagine that? Buying thousands of rose petals to recreate your boyfriend's favorite movie, booking a suite, hiring a photographer, getting little greeting cards made - the works! Then you find out that what you thought was American Beauty should have really been American Gangster. Smack yourself. Twice for emphasis.

I think what she tried to do would have been extra perfect if it were for the correct movie [obviously]. I just don't think there's a scene in American Gangster that would have been appropriate for a Valentine's Day movie-themed weekend. . .was there?

& I bet the guy wasn't even grateful that she had at least made the effort. Hmph. I'm not bitter, I'm just sayin'.

"Countdown to apology"

Beyonce: "And this is how big of a star you are compared to me."

It really saddens me when celebrities let their egos get the best of them. Really, it does.

Etta James is going on 128 actin' like a damn teenager for the media all because Beyonce out-sang her song for the inauguration. I'm sure you've all already heard about this and are shaking your heads just as hard as I am. Now James is threatening, and I quote, "to beat a b*tch's a*s" [I hate profanity too, but Etta said it - not I] and denouncing Obama as her president. Come on now, Etta.

I understand that she's a soul legend and my feelings would be extra hurt as well if my president chose my understudy instead of me to sing my own song when I'm still alive, but there's no need for name-calling. . .

“You guys know your president, right?” she asked the crowd. “The one with the
big ears? He ain’t my president. He might be yours…” she continued, before
adding that “that woman he had singing for him…she’s gonna get her ass whipped.
The great Beyonce…I can’t stand Beyonce.”

[Source]

Lol. I'm sorry. I just think sour old women are hee-larious. And you know you're secretly hoping Beyonce sucks it up and stops feeling personally attacked [even if she was] long enough to fire some equally stinging comments. My only question is how long before Etta apologizes? I think this happened a few days ago. Her PR people need to step their games up.

"Meet Jade Leather Heat"

That would be my stripper name.

Like clockwork, every time the Bursar’s office is demanding money or threatening to kick us out of our school for being semesters late on tuition payment after my room mate and I pray to the financial gods we always semi-entertain the idea of getting into the lucrative, yet emotionally suicidal business of dancing.

I know I am not the only college-aged female who has joked about this yet still been almost, kinda/sorta in a way dead serious. I personally don’t think I could do it unless maybe a child was involved or I needed an operation that my insurance wasn’t covering – the two extremes – but I can feel any girl who chooses to take that route. Working a minimum-wage gig that you know isn’t going to make a dent in your bills is probably a waste of time and so, if you’re willing to take the risk of the personal damage it could have on your life and substitute your money for your pride then to each his/her own, I guess.

I will never come at a girl’s head for doing what she feels she has to do when it seems all the other options have been exhausted. Loans? Denied – bad credit, bad economy. Grants? Few and far between. Scholarships? If you’ve got ‘em, ride them out. Scholarships should be your backbone so if you have one make sure you keep in good standing. However, for those without scholarships, without money in the family, and without loans and grants, is work-study or part-time retail sales supposed to take its place? I don’t think so.

"As a former call girl, I know plenty of people in the industry, and I recently
spoke to several who have started doing kink work to supplement their incomes,"
Quan writes in The Daily Beast." [Source]

For the record though – as much as becoming a dominatrix may have it’s positives with you only having to work an hour for around $80-$200 and not having to worry about sexual intercourse with the client, like any other job in the sexual entertainment industry there’s going to be an emotional after effect and sometimes it’s just not worth it. I would probably have to do some watered-down version of body/skills-selling like being a call girl or something, which with my luck would end up being the most dangerous one yet because of the one-on-one-not-everyone-knows-where-you-are aspect. Sigh.

Whether it’s stripping or becoming a dominatrix however, college-aged ladies like myself aren’t the only ones considering this form of free lance work. Women with full-time jobs are signing on just to pick up some extra money [maybe for gas?]. Watch out now.