"I scream, you scream"

Woman fined for EXTREMELY loud sex!

Overdoing it, for real.

I don't know that there's any kind of sex out there that will have you screaming out in other languages, tongues, and dialects and willing to pay close to $1,000 just to do so. Just for screaming though? Come on now.

SUNDERLAND , England, April 18 (UPI) — A 47-year-old Englishwoman has been convicted of flouting a city order to keep her love-making sessions quiet, officials said.

The Daily Telegraph reported Saturday that Caroline Cartwright, 47, was found guilty of breaching a noise abatement notice served on her after police received 25 complaints about her loud sessions with husband Steve.

She was fined more than $760, The Sun reported.

“I am not making the noise on purpose,” she told magistrates in Sunderland. “I have no desire to hurt anybody or damage any property.”

One neighbor reportedly said she had not gotten a decent night’s sleep for two years because of the Cartwrights. Another neighbor said she was forced to move out because of the noise, the Telegraph reported." [Source]

Disrespectful neighbors. I mean, it's fine if you wanna get yours in the comfort of your own home but when it's seriously interfering with numerous people's sleep patterns perhaps it's time to tone it down. I'm not hating, I'm just saying.

& don't worry, the lady insists it was worth the money.

"What a nice surprise"

Mich. man helps deliver wife's surprise baby !!

So, I don't believe it.

A western Michigan man helped deliver his wife's baby boy despite not knowing she was pregnant. The Grand Rapids Press reported the man called 911 early Thursday as his wife was in labor. The man told the dispatcher that he had not known his 27-year-old wife was pregnant. He said they recently quit smoking and thought her recent weight gain was related.

The couple has two children, and the mother has an additional child from a previous relationship.

Following the successful delivery, the dispatcher talked the man through post-birth procedures. The child was taken to a local hospital." [Source]

So you thought the major weight gain was because she quit smoking? I mean, I guess. I know there are different reasons to not realize you're pregnant for a while but not finding out until the kids' already halfway out? That's just downright negligent on her part.



It could happen to anyone, right? Props to him for delivering the baby boy instead of just remaining in a state of shock about the pregnancy like I probably would have.

"Naked for nuggets"

Pimp team pay prostitute with nuggets!!

Ronald Vikash Gander, 27, and his 16-year-old girlfriend devised a plan to prostitute a teenage girl so they could afford the weekly $1,050 rent on a serviced inner-Brisbane apartment, the Brisbane District Court was told.

The court was told the girl made $4,500 for having sex with five middle-aged men in June last year.Gander and his girlfriend used the money for living expenses and paid the girl nothing except for the occasional box of chicken nuggets.

The court was told Gander's girlfriend - who cannot be named - threatened the student, who had run away from home, with eviction if she didn't continue having sex with clients to earn her keep." [Source]

So this needs to stop.

I don't hate the player - I hate the game, so I'm not mad at the pimp for paying her with nuggets but rather her for accepting. The whole thing is ludicrous. This man who is damn near 30 teamed up with his underaged girlfriend to pimp her underage classmate and didn't even have the decency to pay her with actual cash. Not that anything I ever post on here is decent, but still. . .

. . .you see my point.

"How far is too far for a friend"?

Ohio Man Kills Self After Realizing He Ran Over Friend!

So that was completely uncalled for on so many levels.

SAGAMORE HILLS, Ohio — An Ohio man fatally shot himself in the head moments after realizing he had run over a friend, who also died, police said.

Summit County Sheriff's Sgt. Scott Cottle said witnesses saw Erich Schultz and Stacy DiJulius arguing Saturday night in a parking lot after both had been drinking at a bar in Sagamore Hills, about 20 miles south of Cleveland.

Schultz, 38, tried to drive away in his Jeep, but DiJulius attempted to get into the vehicle as it moved and fell under one of the tires, Cottle said. He added that it appeared Schultz accidentally ran over DiJulius and that he felt so bad about it he then took out a gun and shot himself." [Source- Fox News]

The woman died at the hospital, and the "suicide victim" was pronounced dead later as well. What boggles my mind is how authorities just assume he killed himself because he accidentally ran her over. There are some missing pieces here, but from what I understand drinking + arguing in a parking lot ='s the recipe for some bad decisions.

Nevertheless, plotholes or not - you heard it from me. If he in fact did shoot himself in the head because of an immediate wave of guilt I know he is kicking himself looking down on this. . .or up at it. Whichever works.

"Do-it-your-self Insemination"

Lesbian threatens to inseminate wife with brother’s sperm; faces charges

"An alleged Massachusetts lesbian has been charged with domestic assault and battery after she tried to artificially inseminate her wife with her brother’s semen.

Artificial insemination - Do not try this at home
Stephanie Lighten was “all liquored up” Tuesday, her wife, Jennifer Lighten, told Pittsfield police. Stephanie had been talking about trying to impregnate her for some time, she said.

When Stephanie came home around 4:30 p.m., she threw Jennifer on the couch and threatened to inseminate her with a large catheter-tipped syringe, according to the Berkshire Eagle.

A witness called police who arrested Stephanie at the scene. They retrieved the syringe in its original package and a container of semen. It was unclear how Stephanie obtained the semen from her brother. "[Source]

Obviously not one of their best ideas. I feel like she could have saved herself so much embarressment (whoever Stephanie Lighten is) by doing this the old-fashioned way. And no, I don't mean by actually finding a man to physically impregnant her wife. . .just by looking for a sperm donor.

Then again, with this recession I can't imagine paying for some extra test-tube-safe jizz being cheap, so doing if you feel like you can do it yourself - more power to ya.

"When keeping it real goes wrong."

Extreme kinkyness leads to internal bleeding!!

Oh boy.

*crosses legs. TIGHTLY*

This one is sufficiently worst than the d-ck kabob story and hurt my heart a little bit because I made the mistake of mentally picturing the hilarity. Just a heads up - this happened to a real person, in a real place, and it's really sad that such idiotic people walk the earth. Perhaps there were drugs involved? Idk, man. . .

LEXINGTON PARK, Md. (WUSA) - A Southern Maryland woman was seriously injured in a mishap involving a sex toy over the weekend. The case was first reported on TheBayNet.com, and Saint Mary’s county public safety sources confirmed the information to 9NEWS NOW.

The accident was reported to local fire and rescue personnel about 1:30 a.m. on March 7, from an address on Rogers Drive. The man who made the 911 call said he had placed a sex toy over a saber saw blade, and then used the power tool on his partner, but the blade cut through the plastic and injured the woman.

The victim, a 27-year-old woman, was reportedly injured and bleeding. She was later flown to Prince George’s hospital center by Maryland State Police helicopter." [Source of all sources- OHN]

This is what happens when something that seems like ingenuity is actually just a really eff'd up idea of fun. I'm begging you all to take lessons from these sob stories and please try to cut down on the stupid. If it seems like a bad idea, it probably is.

"Doggie Delights"

That title is so inappropriate for this post, yet so true.

Jealous wife cuts if off -- and feeds it to the dogs!!

Raging Kailasben Vyshali, from Mehsana, India, drugged her man with sleeping pills, served in a cup of tea, after he came home from seeing his mistress.

Then while he slept she chopped off his penis with a razor sharp blade and threw it into the street where it was snapped up by a pack of stray dogs.

“The hospital managed to save his life but the rest of him was never found. He’s certainly never going to cheat again,” said one doctor." [Source- OHN]

She REALLY went in! Why is the ultimate resolution to dealing with a cheating husband always, ALWAYS to go after his member in some flagrant way? My solution would be more along the lines of white collar crime. Ie: attacking his bank account like a leech sucking all of his finances dry.

Then again, if he's not working with much (in his account, I mean) and your emotions are all out of wack, I guess sleeping pills and razor blades can do the trick too.

"The things they lost in the fire. . "

With common sense, being one of them.

I'm sorry - I just HAD to! Sue me. I try to stay out of celebrity misfortune and just focus on plain ol' regular Joes like you and me having terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad days but if in fact People have their facts right. . *sigh* Rih-Rih might need another slap or two.

Actually, this time why doesn't someone just talk to her? Sit her down and explain to her that perhaps re-entering an abusive relationship isn't the best idea. Ecspecially after three weeks of counseling from media websites. I'm just sayin'.

Then again, people have gotten together again during worst situations, huh? Still it's hard to forget. . .

"Meet Jade Leather Heat"

That would be my stripper name.

Like clockwork, every time the Bursar’s office is demanding money or threatening to kick us out of our school for being semesters late on tuition payment after my room mate and I pray to the financial gods we always semi-entertain the idea of getting into the lucrative, yet emotionally suicidal business of dancing.

I know I am not the only college-aged female who has joked about this yet still been almost, kinda/sorta in a way dead serious. I personally don’t think I could do it unless maybe a child was involved or I needed an operation that my insurance wasn’t covering – the two extremes – but I can feel any girl who chooses to take that route. Working a minimum-wage gig that you know isn’t going to make a dent in your bills is probably a waste of time and so, if you’re willing to take the risk of the personal damage it could have on your life and substitute your money for your pride then to each his/her own, I guess.

I will never come at a girl’s head for doing what she feels she has to do when it seems all the other options have been exhausted. Loans? Denied – bad credit, bad economy. Grants? Few and far between. Scholarships? If you’ve got ‘em, ride them out. Scholarships should be your backbone so if you have one make sure you keep in good standing. However, for those without scholarships, without money in the family, and without loans and grants, is work-study or part-time retail sales supposed to take its place? I don’t think so.

"As a former call girl, I know plenty of people in the industry, and I recently
spoke to several who have started doing kink work to supplement their incomes,"
Quan writes in The Daily Beast." [Source]

For the record though – as much as becoming a dominatrix may have it’s positives with you only having to work an hour for around $80-$200 and not having to worry about sexual intercourse with the client, like any other job in the sexual entertainment industry there’s going to be an emotional after effect and sometimes it’s just not worth it. I would probably have to do some watered-down version of body/skills-selling like being a call girl or something, which with my luck would end up being the most dangerous one yet because of the one-on-one-not-everyone-knows-where-you-are aspect. Sigh.

Whether it’s stripping or becoming a dominatrix however, college-aged ladies like myself aren’t the only ones considering this form of free lance work. Women with full-time jobs are signing on just to pick up some extra money [maybe for gas?]. Watch out now.