"Paid for lack of perfomance"

Man sues neighbor for failing to get his wife pregnant!

Oh, how I love a good scandal.

At first, I thought this story was just unfortunate because this sterile guy paid another unaware sterile guy to impregnate his wife and allowed them to repeatedly hook up for months - but then it just got better and better. This is the stuff good neighborhood drama is made of, I tell ya.

A GERMAN man is sueing his neighbor after he failed to get his wife pregnant.

Demetrius Soupolos, 29, from Stuttgart, Germany, paid his neighbour to have sex with his wife so that she would fall pregnant.

But after several months and no pregnancy the neighbor went for a test and was also found to be sterile.

Now Demetrius is sueing to get a refund." [Source]

However, what they didn't mention (which I discovered through very clever further investigation because this just wasn't making sense) was that the neighbor who was paid to repeatedly sleep with Demetrius' wife for about six months found out he was sterile after Demetrius demanded he see a doctor. Of course this didn't make sense said neighbor was married with children. . .

. . .How'd that happen? Well, his two children weren't his and his wife was force to confess to it after he started questioning how he could possibly shoot blanks but still have two kids running around. Tsk, tsk.

All this drama because he needed $2,500. If everyone would have just kept minding their own business this would have never happened.

"Backlash for spreading seeds"

Man jailed for dodging child support for 14 kids

Authorities in Michigan say a man fathered 14 children with 13 different women and owes more than $530,000 in unpaid child support.

The Flint Journal reports 42-year-old Thomas Frazier was jailed Thursday. Court records say he hasn't made a support payment in six years.

The newspaper says the unemployed man could be held for 90 days if he doesn't pay $27,900.
Frazier says he thinks he fathered only three of the children and that it's unrealistic for authorities to expect him to pay child support that was $3,000 a month at one point." [Source- AP News]

Ugh.

I have no words. Just take him off to jail. You have 13 women claiming you're the father of their 14 children and you're not a celebrity or anything? It's not like you're loaded. . .you know you're the baby daddy. At this point (now that six years have passed) I think these women are secure with the fact that money from this man is just not an option, and his punishment should be jail time.

And a MAJOR deduction from any check he earns from now until the cows come home.

"Naked for nuggets"

Pimp team pay prostitute with nuggets!!

Ronald Vikash Gander, 27, and his 16-year-old girlfriend devised a plan to prostitute a teenage girl so they could afford the weekly $1,050 rent on a serviced inner-Brisbane apartment, the Brisbane District Court was told.

The court was told the girl made $4,500 for having sex with five middle-aged men in June last year.Gander and his girlfriend used the money for living expenses and paid the girl nothing except for the occasional box of chicken nuggets.

The court was told Gander's girlfriend - who cannot be named - threatened the student, who had run away from home, with eviction if she didn't continue having sex with clients to earn her keep." [Source]

So this needs to stop.

I don't hate the player - I hate the game, so I'm not mad at the pimp for paying her with nuggets but rather her for accepting. The whole thing is ludicrous. This man who is damn near 30 teamed up with his underaged girlfriend to pimp her underage classmate and didn't even have the decency to pay her with actual cash. Not that anything I ever post on here is decent, but still. . .

. . .you see my point.

"The consequence of love biting"

Man strangles woman over a hickey -- yes, a HICKEY.

But don't fret, she's still alive.

Police responded to complaints about a disturbance at a Sheboygan apartment around 8:30 p.m. Friday and found the victim with dried blood on her lip and scratches around her neck.

She told police Jerome M. Lucious Jr. of Sheboygan strangled her with both hands and threatened to kill her after she questioned him about a hickey on his neck and slapped him.

Lucious admitted that he threw the victim against the wall Friday and put his hands around her throat after she slapped him, according to The Sheboygan Press. "

Now before I read the story I thought that this fool attacked her for leaving a hickey on him -- I was thinking she was the other woman and he didn't want his main one to find out. Then I read on and see that the reasoning behind his madness is much, much lamer. All she did was ask about the miniature neck bruise and homie went apeshit. It saddens me.

There goes another 21-year-old who had a world of opportunity waiting for him. . .

*cough* okay, maybe not. He was actually a repeat offender and is now facing seven years in prison and three years on probation. Tsk, tsk. If I'm getting strangled for asking about a hickey then I'm sorry, I guess we're both dying that night because there's no way. . .& the truly disturbing part of this is that there's a good chance the victim will go back to him.

"I'm having problems with my other wife"

Man allegedly kept 2 wives in same complex!

OVERLAND PARK, Kan. - Authorities said a 61-year-old man allegedly married to two women who lived in the same apartment complex faces bigamy and other felony charges.

The man was married his first wife 22 years ago. Court records said the second marriage occurred in January 2006. Both women are in their 50s.

Officials said police were called to the complex in November when the second wife went to the first wife's apartment to confront the man and found out he was married to someone else." [Source- MSN]

At 61-years-old you're awfully bold for marrying two women and keeping that mess going for 2 decades. The sad thing is that I don't even think this is an uncommon occurence. There are men out there with different families in different states - it's just that none of them were bold enough to use their deceased father's social security number.

I guess he was determined.

"Do-it-your-self Insemination"

Lesbian threatens to inseminate wife with brother’s sperm; faces charges

"An alleged Massachusetts lesbian has been charged with domestic assault and battery after she tried to artificially inseminate her wife with her brother’s semen.

Artificial insemination - Do not try this at home
Stephanie Lighten was “all liquored up” Tuesday, her wife, Jennifer Lighten, told Pittsfield police. Stephanie had been talking about trying to impregnate her for some time, she said.

When Stephanie came home around 4:30 p.m., she threw Jennifer on the couch and threatened to inseminate her with a large catheter-tipped syringe, according to the Berkshire Eagle.

A witness called police who arrested Stephanie at the scene. They retrieved the syringe in its original package and a container of semen. It was unclear how Stephanie obtained the semen from her brother. "[Source]

Obviously not one of their best ideas. I feel like she could have saved herself so much embarressment (whoever Stephanie Lighten is) by doing this the old-fashioned way. And no, I don't mean by actually finding a man to physically impregnant her wife. . .just by looking for a sperm donor.

Then again, with this recession I can't imagine paying for some extra test-tube-safe jizz being cheap, so doing if you feel like you can do it yourself - more power to ya.

"When keeping it real goes wrong."

Extreme kinkyness leads to internal bleeding!!

Oh boy.

*crosses legs. TIGHTLY*

This one is sufficiently worst than the d-ck kabob story and hurt my heart a little bit because I made the mistake of mentally picturing the hilarity. Just a heads up - this happened to a real person, in a real place, and it's really sad that such idiotic people walk the earth. Perhaps there were drugs involved? Idk, man. . .

LEXINGTON PARK, Md. (WUSA) - A Southern Maryland woman was seriously injured in a mishap involving a sex toy over the weekend. The case was first reported on TheBayNet.com, and Saint Mary’s county public safety sources confirmed the information to 9NEWS NOW.

The accident was reported to local fire and rescue personnel about 1:30 a.m. on March 7, from an address on Rogers Drive. The man who made the 911 call said he had placed a sex toy over a saber saw blade, and then used the power tool on his partner, but the blade cut through the plastic and injured the woman.

The victim, a 27-year-old woman, was reportedly injured and bleeding. She was later flown to Prince George’s hospital center by Maryland State Police helicopter." [Source of all sources- OHN]

This is what happens when something that seems like ingenuity is actually just a really eff'd up idea of fun. I'm begging you all to take lessons from these sob stories and please try to cut down on the stupid. If it seems like a bad idea, it probably is.

"Knitting catastrophe"

What's the word for doing something and making it seem like an accident when it really isn't? I'm sure there's a word for it. . Oh, right. Being stupid. I understand that's a phrase, and I don't care.

Woman puts knitting needles to work by stabbing ex's jimmy!

ATHENS - A man who fell asleep while drinking with his ex-girlfriend woke up a few hours later to find a six-inch crochet needle in his penis.

The 45-year-old man told authorities that dozed off at his Holt Road home about 8 p.m. and woke up at 11 p.m. Wednesday and discovered the problem, said Limestone County Sheriff Mike Blakely.

He drove himself to Athens-Limestone Hospital, where a doctor removed the needle.

The man told deputies that he couldn’t remember his ex-girlfriend’s last name and that he didn’t wake up when the needle was inserted, Blakely said." [Source- Blog AL]

What a way to wake up from a nap, huh? One minute you're downing beers and the next you're trying to explain to some qualified specialist why your manhood looks like shish kabob.

Nasty. *shivers*

"Designer Grandkids"

Court Denies Couple Use of Dead Son's Sperm to Make Grandchild =[

Why anyone would want to create a miniature financial burden during these hard economic times without their parents around is beyond me.

A New York appeals court says a couple is not entitled to their dead son's frozen sperm so they can have a grandchild.

Mark Speranza left semen samples at a lab in 1997 but ordered them destroyed if he died. He wanted to father a child if he survived his battle with cancer. He died in January 1998.

Speranza's parents sought custody of the frozen sperm so a surrogate mother could be artificially inseminated." [Source- Foxified]

It turned out that you actually needed the father's blood for this whole "procedure" to be possible. And with him dead it's kind of, well, impossible.

I think it's adorable that they tried though. Just the kind of things I would want my grand ones to do for me if it ever came to that. . .lol. . .came *smh*

"The things they lost in the fire. . "

With common sense, being one of them.

I'm sorry - I just HAD to! Sue me. I try to stay out of celebrity misfortune and just focus on plain ol' regular Joes like you and me having terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad days but if in fact People have their facts right. . *sigh* Rih-Rih might need another slap or two.

Actually, this time why doesn't someone just talk to her? Sit her down and explain to her that perhaps re-entering an abusive relationship isn't the best idea. Ecspecially after three weeks of counseling from media websites. I'm just sayin'.

Then again, people have gotten together again during worst situations, huh? Still it's hard to forget. . .

"Survival of the fittest"

Recession spreads overseas causing man to eliminate concubines!

BEIJING, China (CNN) — A married Chinese businessman who could no longer afford five mistresses held a competition to decide which one to keep.

But the contest took a fatal turn when one of the women, eliminated for her looks, drove the man and the four other competitors off a cliff, Chinese media reported.

The spurned mistress died and the other passengers were injured, the reports said."

[Source - OHN]

I love how the mistress died while the main targets only got a couple of boo-boos (or not, still. . .they're alive). I guess she didn't work out her exit strategy very well.

This married businessman realized after looking in his bank account that having five relationships was just getting a little bit too costly now because of the way the worldwide economy is suffering. So how does he choose which mistress to keep? Why, a beauty pageant of course. What he didn't do was cover all the bases like what happens when one of these side girls takes her elimination the wrong way and tries to kill everybody.

Then, of course, after it's all over and they all leave the ER his wife and the remaining side joints leave him.

Pimpin ain't easy.

"Why you shouldn't care if he doesn't care"

5 Reasons to skip 'He's just not that into you'

We are all clingy, insane, insecure, naive, trusting idiots, who drive away our boyfriends and potential bfs by being like that. I don’t know about you, but movies that continuously reiterate that I’m completely psycho and clingy tend to turn me off at about the 60 minute mark." [Source - College News]

Ooh, it hurts - doesn't it?

I haven't had the chance to see this movie and I'm really not looking forward to the prospect. My friend suggested we go for [as you can expect] "a girl's night out." Since we're both super singles I'm not seeing the fun in being reminded why, as my great aunt would say: "we can't keep a man."

I do think it's cute, though. The premise. And from the way that chick is ranting - somewhat true. However, there's nothing even remotely appealing about being reminded why you're insecure and then being mocked for being insecure. In what realm of crazy is that okay?

Then again the single ladies might enjoy it more than any girl who's in a commited relationship. Your mind will be insidiously flooded with doubts about your man and what you think you have. Those who celebrated V-Day solo can actually take a sigh of relief because there's nothing to wonder about if it's not there to begin with.