"If you blinked, you missed it."

Is love at first sight real?

Everyone has their own thoughts about that and I for one think that lust at first sight is the only think you can count on. Pure, unadulterated physical attraction -- you can get that from looking at someone one time, but not love. Ideally it would be lovely, but not in this world.


Love's such a strong emotion - like hate. Do you hate at first sight? Of course not. You might be turned off by someone initially, but you wouldn't conclude that you hated them until much later. After an experience, a bad memory - something. But that's just what I think. Some geneticists (because I love having scientific back up) have looked into the idea of "love at first sight". . .

According to a study published in the April 2009 issue of the journal Genetics, a team of scientists from the United States and Australia discovered that at the genetic level, some males and females are more compatible than others, and that this compatibility plays an important role in mate selection, mating outcomes, and future reproductive behaviors. " [Source]

The article concluded (after examining the behaviors of fruit flies toward their mating partners) that the female flies in particular cared about the character of their counterpart. In other words, they were attracted to them at first sight and strong feelings were involved that quickly. Hmm. . .it would be the females who would screw up my hypothesis. Read more here.

"More to love"

New Dating Reality Show Looking to Cats Overweight Contestants!!

Average Joes and Janes will get to pursue their shot at love with the launch of the new dating-competition series developed by FOX called “More to Love.”

The show has been billed as a dating show “for the rest of us,” and will feature overweight contestants.

FOX will be teaming up with producer Mike Fleiss (known for his work on "The Bachelor"). The show will feature a group of women competing for the love of one man, whom producers describe as a Kevin James-type (James was the star of “The King of Queens.”)

"For six years it's been skinny-minis and good-looking bachelors, and that's not what the dating world looks like," Fox president of alternative Mike Darnell said. "Why don't real women — the women who watch these shows, for the most part — have a chance to find love too?" [Source- Fox]

Um, I don't like how they're insinuating that the rest of us - the ones who happen to find their guilty pleasure is reality TV - are overweight and even want to partake in the f*ckery. However, I'm sure they'll find people who want their shine and will end up on the show and then milk it for all it was worth just to end up on another.

A reality dating show for real people this time. Imagine that. And it's true that the people featured on reality shows are nothing like what the dating world is. Reality TV can never hope to really be realistic if someone's heart is involved.

"Dear wife of a trifiling man,"

Cops snitching to the wives of prostitute clients!

Stop snitching? I think not.

Soon wives could receive letters from the Escambia County Sheriff’s Department letting them know when their husbands are arrested for soliciting prostitutes.

“I don’t think it’s people’s right to do that. I really don’t,” said Trishanne LaFreniere, a woman who opposes the letter.

“She has the right to know,” said Laurie Thuma, who likes the idea of alerting wives. “This impacts her on many levels, including her health.”

Even the men in Escambia County can’t seem to agree whether or not the letter is a good idea.

“This letter’s making you guilty before you get your day in court,” emphasized Jeff Hughes. “You need therapy. You need help. You don’t need to be lambasted by your wife.”[Source]

I don't know about you, but from what I've seen [okay, read] when you're eager to enjoy the company of hookers usually you're also not willing to admit to it - and you're definitely not going to tell your wife/girlfriend. Come on now. Of course some men are arguing that this "snitching" from the police isn't giving them a fair trial with their wife and making them guilty before proven innocent. . .

. . .They must not have read the memo that said with relationships you're always guilty until proven innocent. It's sad, some say you have trust issues but the fact still remains that this isn't the United States Justice system - this is real life. If you can survive being accused of soliciting sexual favors then maybe I'll be quiet, but until then the woman has the right to know if you're coming home with a smile on your face but sharing chlamydia with her.

"Obamas Philosophy on love"

Five Lessons we can learn from the Obamas

I'm all for entertaining news that allows us to sit back and be glad that we're not the ones featured on this blog, but every once and a while I like to throw in some optimism. I also have an unhealthy infatuation with the Obamas and thriving black love. So, for your reading enjoyment here's some dope philosophizing inspired by the one, the only. . .our President of the United States and his lady: Barack & Michelle Obama.

If I believe there's anyone out there who really is engaged in a healthy relationship while still being in the public eye, it's them. The Today show on MSNBC.com has a sex therapist who compiled a list that caught my eye and really made me sit back and admire them. I know we may not know a whole lot about their sex life/relationship, but there are some things you just can't fake when you've got America as a whole watching your every move.

Maintain a sense of surprise- “Sometimes, when we’re lying together, I look at her and I feel dizzy with the realization that here is another distinct person from me, who has memories, origins, thoughts, feelings that are different from my own. . .," says Obama, "Even if one builds a life together based on trust, attentiveness and mutual support, I think that’s it’s important that a partner continues to surprise the other." I think that's ridiculously adorable on so many levels and very true.

Show tenderness- Obama also spoke about how Michelle exhibits a certain level of vulnerability (Imagine that!). I never took Michelle for the vulnerable type, but I also don't think she wears the pants in the relationship. Not all the time, anyway.

Some other ones mentioned were opposites attracting, becoming friends and staying friends, and then my personal favorite: Being a relationship role model.

I honestly don't think they even realize how great of an example they're setting as a couple, color aside, by simply being themselves with each other at all times. They maintain eye contact with one another in interviews, joke like America's not watching, and their whole chemistry just flows naturally - whether the cameras are on or not. Check out videos/pictures where they were not prepped for the paparazzi to see what I mean.

"I'm having problems with my other wife"

Man allegedly kept 2 wives in same complex!

OVERLAND PARK, Kan. - Authorities said a 61-year-old man allegedly married to two women who lived in the same apartment complex faces bigamy and other felony charges.

The man was married his first wife 22 years ago. Court records said the second marriage occurred in January 2006. Both women are in their 50s.

Officials said police were called to the complex in November when the second wife went to the first wife's apartment to confront the man and found out he was married to someone else." [Source- MSN]

At 61-years-old you're awfully bold for marrying two women and keeping that mess going for 2 decades. The sad thing is that I don't even think this is an uncommon occurence. There are men out there with different families in different states - it's just that none of them were bold enough to use their deceased father's social security number.

I guess he was determined.

"Oh, the irony"

Florida Man Wearing 'I Heart My Marriage' Shirt Arrested for Allegedly Choking Wife

Shirts are so misleading.

Bradley Gellert, 32, an Ameriprise financial consultant, was wearing a T-shirt bearing the phrase "I Heart My Marriage" when he was arrested on a charge of domestic battery by strangulation, according to the Hillsborough County Sheriff’s Office." [Source- Foxified]

Gellert apparently threw a temper tantrum for reasons undisclosed before he tried to attack his wife. She's not dead, just really confused.

I have a shirt that I got last year saying "I love my boyfriend" around V-day, but since we broke up I wear it to clean/go to the gym. I clearly no longer love my boyfriend - but I do love the way that 100% cotton T-shirt feels. He might have been attached in the same kind of way. No?

"One plus to texting"

When Texting, Eligible Women Express Themselves Better

Believe it or not, the ridick news has slowed down for today, but I did find this interesting article on ScienceDaily about texting. I know I said texting would lead to nothing but trouble but that was moreso for the youth of America - now I'm talking to you singles and couples out there.

Indiana researchers have found that when men and women text message each other in a public, interactive dating market, it is the women who use more non-standard, expressive language techniques. . .

The study found women used more non-standard language such as abbreviations or expressive insertions that represented characteristics including enthusiasm, sadness, emphasis and individuality. And while women were both more economical and expressive, they also came closer to maxing out, or did max out, on the 160-character message limit more often than their male counterparts." [Source - Science Daily]

This is something that comes as no surprise to me. From personally texting I'll admit that it doesn't matter to me what the limit is - I need to fully express myself. Abbreviations and symbols do help but at the end of the day keeping it concise doesn't really matter to me.

"Boyfriend woes"

Msnbc.com has a video about some boyfriend/horror stories you might want to check out. I've noticed lately that my news has been spotlighting a lot of psychotic females, so I thought this would be a nice change. Guys mess up, too.

Often, in fact. Hehe =]

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

"The benefits of friends"

I’ve never really understood the concept of friends with benefits. I really in my heart don’t think there’s a way for it to work out beneficial for both people. Just knowing females and the way they think/operate [because I am one] means those “benefits” are going to lead to complications. However, if you’re absolutely sure it’s something you’re willing to give a shot because. . .I don’t know, maybe you’re just in need of action or you’re attracted to the person minus all their personality flaws, I think that these rules should apply:

1.) Be unattached. As in, BOTH of you. If someone’s in a relationship, toying with the idea of a relationship or any of the like then clearly that someone is cheating or a potential cheater. Let’s be grown up about this. No we’re not “friends who mess around.” That’s malarkey.

2.) Set the rules up beautifully from the beginning. The relationship is strictly for hook-up purposes only. This is where ish starts getting complicated because I kind of don’t know of a successful friends with benefits relationship where somebody didn’t catch feelings some kind of way. . .but then if that happens. . .

3.) . . .as soon as feelings are involved END THE RELATIONSHIP!!! I can’t stress this mess enough. Whether it’s the guy or the girl – it does not matter! Unless miraculously you BOTH wanna make a relationship outta thin air happen, just end it. Go back to being friends or acquaintances if you can. Once feelings are involved there is no turning back.

4.) There’s always the chance that your buddy might meet someone they wanna get serious with and when that happens, do not cock block. As Luther Vandross and Beyonce would say, “Let’s get love a try.” You never know – they might end up being something serious and you’ll always be that one person their partner can’t stand because your cockblockin’ self was all up in the mix trying to keep your little hook-up pact going. Be still.

That’s all I’ve got so far. . .obviously, beneficial friends have been on my mind since relationships right now are a bust *sigh* I’m just trying to spread some knowledge. It’s no surprise to me that sixty-two percent of Blacks have experienced more friends with benefits relationships than actual relationships. What's that sayin', huh?

I think you know.